Yeah, They Got Me

I sprang for the paid membership today. Starla worked her magic. I had a nice email from a local man who seems to be polite and well spoken, and I replied to him, but the whole thing feels so businesslike: I feel like I’m essentially saying, “I’ve reviewed your application materials, and I’d like to schedule an interview to see if you’re right for the position.” How is this a prelude to romance?

I’ve had several more Winky Faces–none that match the . . . interest that Duke & Frosty brought to the table–but they do seem like nice men.  One’s even quite cute, but he lives in California.  Another seems pretty witty, put he lives in Georgia.  Why are they flirting with me?  Why the Winky Faces? I’m not interested in pen pals, and I’m not likely to fly hundreds (or thousands) of miles for a lunch or coffee date with a stranger.

Here’s another feature of Snatch:  Their logarithms (or ouija boarding, or dice rolling) trawls around finding people they offer to you as suggestions.  The number one reason various men have been suggested to me is that each is, “Like [me], not a smoker.”  Well LA DEE DA!  Call Anne Shirley, ’cause I’ve found me a Kindred Spirit!  Other men have been suggested because (gasp!) they . . . SHARE MY BIRTH MONTH.  If that’s not something to base a relationship on, I don’t know what is.  I wonder what Snatch would make of the fact that Kid Rock and I were born on the VERY SAME DAY?  They’d probably make me change my name to Fishseekingbicycle ROCK.  Because:  SO MEANT TO BE.

It’s not all bad, though, I guess. Two of my Suggested Matches have season Steeler tickets, which is kind of cool. Then again, I’d honestly rather watch football on television, where you can see everything, be comfortable, and use the bathroom whenever you want.

I’m a gem, aren’t I?

I did a search this evening, looking for men between the ages of 39 and 49, and I filtered them so that only atheists and agnostics showed up. I was surprised to find that they weren’t a handsome bunch. I mean, people are who they are, and I’m all for letting the freak flags fly, but why would you choose a profile photo that makes you look dull-eyed and scary?

This drawing looks kind of like a Lego head, and therefore much warmer and more cheerful than the man who was my Match.

On a related note, I’d like to be able to filter out men who think fedoras are appropriate. I think men in the 40s looked handsome and dignified in hats, but I think men who wear them now look like weenies.

This is Andre from The League. He’s pretty unbearable, and usually trying much too hard.

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